I officially have 23 days left of my internship. How was time allowed to escape like this? If someone can help out and give me the answer, that would be just wonderful. I have learned a lot and can now, with confidence, recognize specific rhythms, work equipment, and do other tasks that have been asked of me these past 8 weeks. However, I feel that there is still so much extra...stuff...that I just don't know about yet. It will come with more experience, but (the big questions is) what if I don't get a chance to further my experience? What if a job doesn't come right away and the skills I have been working on and honing wither away? What if I am clumped with other Americans who spend countless thousands on a college education and then, desperately, have to accept a position that has nothing to do with what they studied? I would feel like everything was such a waste at that point. Why is it so hard to trust such a big thing to a God who works in His own time? The world does not work by this philosophy, so most of the time, we are left scrambling for things that are below par. God help me, I don't want to end up like this.
I know. I will write a book. And make millions. Sounds good.
Today, in my spare time, I was able to peruse the magazine rack at Meijer in Kalamazoo. There is discovered a Budget Travelers magazine! How exciting! :] I quickly filled it out and it will be in the mail tomorrow. 12 issues for $12. Not bad, not bad. First my book about Europe, and now this. I hope this means that I am getting serious about traveling.
Tonight, a somewhat cold, Tuesday night, has led me to the bowl chair in our room, slushy in one hand, white cheddar popcorn in the other, and Enya filling the quietness and crowding even more, my thought-filled head. There is much on my mind these days, and not many people to share it with. Very few, in fact. I feel overwhelmed. :-/ All of this brings to mind the lyrics of the song "Us Against the World" by Coldplay.
Oh morning come bursting, the clouds, Amen.
Lift off this blindfold, let me see again
And bring back the water, let your ships roll in.
In my heart she left a hole
The tightrope that I'm walking just sways and ties
The devil as he's talking with those angel's eyes
And I just want to be there when the lightning strikes
And the saints go marching in
And sing slow-ow-ow-ow it down
Through chaos as it swirls
It's us against the world
Like a river to a raindrop, I lost a friend
My drunken as a Daniel in a lion's den
And tonight I know it all has to begin again
So whatever you do, don't let go
And if we could float away
Fly up to the surface and just start again
And lift off before trouble
Just erodes us in the rain (x3)
Sing slow-ow-ow-ow it down
Oh Slow-ow-ow-ow it down
Through chaos as it swirls
It's just us against the world
Through chaos as it swirls
It's us against the world
This post is less than profound and perhaps a big scatterbrained. But it's a glimpse of how my inside...ness...is tonight.
Goodnight all and be blessed.
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